One of the most common conversations that I have when I first meet a client is about the partner. So many partners are intimidated by doula support because they are worried that the doula will 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 them during the birth. This is a common misconception.
Partners, there is no one in this world who knows your partner better than you — and no one can touch the level of emotional support you will be able to provide. 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘺 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘳.
But I hear you asking, “if I’m the best source of support for my laboring partner, what value does a doula bring to our experience?”
The answer is this: 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐚 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲. Your doula has seen countless people birth babies. We offer unattached support— we are not emotionally intermeshed in your experience, and there is so much value in having a support person who isn’t attached to an outcome, or upset to see their loved one in so much discomfort. It allows us to keep a clear head so that we can best support the family through the process of birth. We have had a lot of training that helps us better understand how and when to help, and to be honest, sometimes the partner needs just as much support as the birthing parent. Birthing babies is hard work! I included the featured image of this post because it specifically shows how hard the entire birth team works to support the birthing parent. It truly takes a village, and everyone involved will play an important role in the process.
As a doula it is my job to support the birthing parent 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 during birth. It is common during labor for a partner to want to help, but not know how to support the mother through the intensity. This is where the doula steps in. Your doula can help you better support your partner and give you more confidence in your role, as well as offer breaks so you can take care of your own needs. Doulas are there to work as a team with the partner (NOT replace them) so that the birthing parent is given the best, most well-rounded support possible.
𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘳, 𝘭𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘣𝘺𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘩. Your doula will help you and your partner understand the long list of options that are available to you, and how they will impact your experience. They will help you find the tools that will best prepare you to advocate for yourselves. It takes a village to bring a baby into the world. A good doula will work with you and your care provider to help each part of the process transition as smoothly as possible so that your family can have a beautiful experience. And partners, we flow with the energy of the room. 𝗪𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐣𝐨𝐛 𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫, and we will support you both, in whatever way you need.